But, I don't want a Monorail.

Check out the latest Monorail news in this week's City Life. I don't know about you, but if the Monorail tries to dig into my pocket for bailout money, I'm going to be a little ticked.

I swear, I had to deal with ridiculous traffic as they put up monolithic concrete pillars on Twain. I had to live in fear when monorail pieces were raining from the sky as I either walked or parked under it for four years. All while thinking, "Didn't the Simpsons already do this?"

They're saying that the economic downturn has led to less tourists and therefore less ridership. I can dig that, but you can't use it to cover up the fact that the Monorail has never been economically viable. Also, I seem to remember, when we first heard about the big monorail plans in high school that it would rely heavily on locals, who could park their cars in big secure lots and ride the Mono up and down the strip to and from work.

Do you know why Disneyland's monorail works so well? Because it goes from the Disneyland Hotel to Disneyland. If Las Vegas only had two places people wanted to go, it might have worked. As it stands, with stations set so far behind the strip that they're actually inconvenient, it's pretty much a joke.

One day, people will be wise enough to learn from pop fiction. Till then, see Marge Vs. The Monorail and Blaine the Mono.

Who Are You People?

I'm a native Nevadan. I was born here. I grew up here. I go to the zoo regularly. Why don't I see you there? I know it's kind of crummy, but you know what, people? It's all we have. And it won't get better without patronage.

There is a vary upsetting pair of articles in the Review Journal and the Sun today. In the RJ, we learn that our state museums are laying people off and cutting hours. The article is fairly neutral, but you still come away feeling like you should blame policymakers for cutting budgets. I, and I shudder typing this, tend to sympathize with our boys in Carson City on this one. I understand the importance of education and law enforcement, and appreciate them putting these things over Cultural Affairs. I blame you, Las Vegans.

How many of you even knew we had a zoo? How many of you attend our museums? A museum is still a business, Guys. Sure, they get a little somethin' somethin' from the government, but they still need patrons. What happens to Awesome Mom and Pop restaurant if no one eats there? Same principal, Kids.

In the Las Vegas Sun, we get news of an even more disturbing trend. Seems that, even with the economy in the tank, more than 150,000 underage teens a year undergo cosmetic surgery. The article says, "Most of the procedures were done on minors who wanted to improve their features — a smaller nose or bigger breasts, for example." Really?

So, all I want is a zoo with a couple of wolves and instead I get a 15 year old with a boob job.

Get it together, Guys. Maybe if you took your kid to the Museum a couple times a year, she'd wouldn't think she needed a nose job for her senior year yearbook photo.

Overlooked

I'm just as guilty as everyone else, but does it seem to you like Farrah Fawcett is getting the short end of this deal?

Seriously, for how many of you in the audience was the the ultimate?

I'll be brief, because I don't think she'd want anyone to make a big deal.

I'll just say this: You'll be missed. I loved your hair. And you'll always be Jill Monroe to me.

Same Sex Marriage

Last night, the Rio hosted an event celebrating Senate Bill 283- a bill giving domestic partners, whether they be of the same or opposite sex, some of the same legal rights as married partners.

Is that really part-worthy? I don't know.

Let's take the issue apart, shall we? Conservatives say gay marriage is wrong for two big reasons:

• It violates the sanctity of marriage
• It could allow for tax fraud on the part of roommates who want some extra benefits.
  

Liberals say:

• It's a human rights issue. Homosexuals deserve the same rights as any other couples. They love the same as the rest of us. If you prick them, do they not bleed?

I can't remember a left-wing pundit crying foul because gay couples don't get the right tax breaks.

It appears to me you've been thrown a bone, guys (and gals). Sure, you get some benefits, but line 5 of the bill reads, "this bill also clarifies that a domestic partnership is not a marriage..." The way it reads, conservative have conceded their secondary point, and not even addressed the main issue of the gay rights activists. That's poorly played to say the least.

So, what are you fighting for? You want recognition in the eyes of the IRS? Or do you want people to recognize homosexuality as a legitimate sexual preference instead of a paraphilia?

I've always been on your side. I thought it was fine for gay people to marry, as long as they weren't marrying me. I figured as long as two people are in love, they'll exemplify what marriage should be, and the "sanctity" issue would be put to rest.

But, if you're complacent with your empty victory, then you're showing me you don't know what wanting to be married is all about.

Keep fighting, Guys & Dolls. That's all I'm saying.

So Passes the King of Pop

At 2:26pm today, Michael Jackson suffered a cardiac arrest and passed on. He was fifty years old. Some say it's too soon, and the Online Media Wolves should give it some time and show a little respect before we start picking apart his life. But this is how we mourn- so I say, 'Don't Stop Till You Get Enough.'

Michael, you were a star. We only wanted one thing, and that was to Rock With You.

It seems like you were always there, when I look back at my life. I'll never forget that night at the drive-in, a special showing of Captain EO. That was our first date, and now The Girl is Mine. Every time I look at her I remember what you said in Billie Jean. "Always be careful what you do, and don't go around breaking girls' hearts." Well, I try to treat her right, Michael. I hope I make you proud.

I don't know how many times I heard them mention that Pepsi commercial on the news today. I want to tell those news anchors to Beat It, cause I Just Can't Stop Loving You. We know that through all the scandals, you never did anything that Bad. And I know America understands when I talk about The Way You Make Me Feel. We love you, Michael. And all your detractors need to take a look at the Man In The Mirror.

Another Part of Me cringes when I Remember the Time you held little Blanket out of that window though. I chalk it up to stress. I try to imagine how I'd feel if I had crazed fans following me around all the time, clamoring after me. It would make me want to hide In the Closet.

Whatever happens, Michael. I want you to know that You Are Not Alone.

We lay this flower on the tomb of kings, and weep for our loss.

For a partial list of his contributions to R&B music- Click Here

You disappoint me, Senator Ensign

I come from a very "Right" household. I was raised with Republican ideals, Christian values and thinking the word "Liberal" was some sort of swear word.

I've shifted quite a bit. I'm registered Non-Partisan and haven't agreed with a politician on more than two issues my entire stint as a voter.

That being said, I've always had a love hate relationship with John Ensign. As with most Republicans, I agree with him on a handful of fiscal issues and think he's an asshole for his social views.

That being said, what can Your Working Boy say about the current scandal?

Here's a guy who rails about the sanctity of marriage. It's so sacred, in fact, that Gays will ruin our cool little marriage party if we let them in. And marriage is a broken institution in America, so I'm going to lead by example and join Promise Keepers, a club that teaches men to be better husbands.

It says right on his website, he was rated by the Christian Coalition as having a 100% pro-family voting record. http://www.ontheissues.org/senate/john_ensign.htm#Families_+_Children

But seriously, Ladies and Gentlemen, how hard can you be on this guy? Can you fault him for falling short of his own lofty ideals? How many of us really measure up to our own standards all the time? I mean, he's only human. In my perfect world, every kid has someone to read to them, every day. Do I go out and volunteer? Yeah, maybe if I have time.

In short, I've met Senator Ensign. He's not a bad person. He messed up, and he knows it. We'll see the true measure of his character when this blows over and he starts speaking in public again. Will he be the "My trials have made me perfect" guy, and go back to the same song and dance, or is he going to eat a little humble pie, and reexamine how he defines marriage all together?

How's it going to be, Senator? Are you still going to be flag barer for marriage elitism? I know a homosexual couple that's been faithful longer than you've been married. If it's really about providing good examples for our children, you've got to take a look at what makes an example "good" in the first place.

Good luck, Buddy. I hope it gets better.

Just Be Careful

I got wind of a story dealing with the always entertaining Steve Dempsey, also known as "Captain Truth", today. It seems the good Captain is defending our rights as citizens by squatting in a $1.5 million dollar home in Seven Hills. Hell of a guy.

I won't go into detail, but you should really check out the article. I'll link below.

A good friend who works closely with the City Counsel first clued me in to Captain Truth, calling me in a hushed voice and telling me to turn on channel 2.

Always game for some City Counsel shenanigans, I flipped the channel and was greeted by a funny little man in a fishing hat, ranting for almost an hour. Good times.

Months later, I saw the words, "Steve 'Captain Truth' Dempsey" pop up on my electronic ballot as one of my choices for assemblyperson. The following Monday I heard a fairly influential, albeit not very well informed, coworker saying how she voted for the affable fellow because of his amusing moniker.

These are the people leading your city, people. Wise up.

Here's the article: Click Here

Night People

Coming home late last night, I saw two bicycles and a television sitting out on the street, just waiting. I cursed myself for forgetting trash day. Now I'd have to lug two big Rubbermaids down the driveway at God-knows-what-time in the morning, cause I sure as hell wasn't going to be up before the trash men came. Then I noticed the lack of garbage cans up and down the sidewalk.

It isn't trash day.

I had one of those "Oh...Right" moments and realized my neighbors had set their used items out by the street for those less fortunate to come and take. I thought I should probably put my nephew's old stroller out too; which reminded me of a few conversations I've had with friends and neighbors they'd leave their unwanteds at the curb with signs to the effect of "Free- Please Take", and their belongings would sit for days. Then, when they'd given up hope of adoption and removed the sign, the orphaned toy/electronic/furniture would be gone by morning.

Who takes these things? What is their motivation? I want to know.

I imagine a race of night people, prowling residential areas after everyone, even Freelance Writers, are tucked away in their beds. They're looking for our discarded scraps, but these Night Men are not urchins or beggars. They're resourceful and proud. They look on our charitable hands with disdain.

And what do they do with our forgotten relics? Sell them? Repair them? Use them to fashion grander things than us Day Walkers can't even wrap our minds around?

Probably, but I don't know.

One thing is certain, only in Las Vegas, this little Jewel of the Desert, can a whole other culture spring up, literally in the dead of night, and thrive on the trimmed off fat of society.

Interesting.

First Post

So, college has finished and so has the free ticket to live with the parents. It's time to get out there and make a name for yourself.

You've got the drive, you've got some talent. Now all you need is a little recognition to get the ball rolling.

So how are you going to do it? You've got an edge- you live in Las Vegas. When things happen here, people want to know about it.

What would Hunter S. Thompson do in your situation? Probably three hits of coke and a pint of ether. Okay, so what about Ignatious Riley? He'd eat six hot dogs and complain about society.

Man, you writers are a a crazy lot.

That's all for today. I won't charge you, just click on a couple links. That's how this Workin' Boy earns his bread and butta.