Clean Energy Summit soiled by President Clinton's prevalent use of "piddly", say attendees. The former president's exuberance was compelling, but it seems a recent pension for water sports may have subconsciously undermined his message.
Tanya Migroven, a student, responded to questions about President Clinton's performance, "Yeah, I mean, Green is good, right? I don't know. Excuse me, I have to go [take a shower]," ambling off with a dazed look and our microphone.
Bathroom references weren't the former president's only murky point when trying to get his point across. President Clinton referenced a sliding scale of energy type to jobs created per billion dollars invested, comparing $1 billion in a coal plant, which creates 800 jobs to $1 billion invested in wind energy creating better than 3,000 jobs.
Many were concerned why the president would want to complicate the system. Howard Rogess, a dairy farmer from New England expressed confusion, "Why would I want 3,000 people if 800 could do the job just fine? I'd have to pay all them extra folks for nothing."
The former president's plan calls for closing smaller power plants that run on coal, which will devastate the local economies of some small backwater towns, but will probable not effect the lives of real people, and it's well worth the risk. According to President Clinton's prediction going green will, "save 3.2 trillion dollars and create 3 quadrillion jobs," says Fenton Crackshell, our resident savant. With numbers like these, can any of us really afford not to listen to the former president.
Put on your 100% recyclable hat and goggles, America. Fly off to that untold land of Green Milk and Honey. Becoming a soldier for the environment not only makes you feel like you're doing the right thing, it makes good economic sense.
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